Time is (Not) On My Side

I've been thinking about time a lot lately. Usually, I just think about not having enough time to do all the things I need to do throughout the day. I've been waking up earlier to start my day before the girls get up, and I've been using nap time more efficiently too (meaning I do dishes or laundry instead of scrolling Instagram). However, when we go to sleep at night I still feel like I got very little accomplished. I'm always rushing around, and yet, I have nothing to show for it.

Anyone else feel that way?

It's the pits...and it's also being really hard ourselves. Last night I was busting my own chops about not getting everything done as I had intended, and my husband told me to stop imposing so many expectations on myself and just slow down. He just said "do a little more tomorrow, or the next day." It hit me that I am the one creating all of this craziness in my mind, and better yet, why?

The Secret Life of Pets on repeat.

It boils down to this...for me at least. I need something to "show" for my day. I don't work full-time anymore, so I don't come home with a completed to-do list from the office or a successful meeting or presentation. Those kind of things used to be really important to me, kind of solidifying my worth.

My "worth" now is being the best mom possible to Molly and Maddie, and that doesn't always paint a pretty picture. At the end of the day, I don't always get the kitchen cleaned up and toys put away (especially if the little ladies decide to stay up and play until 10:00). I rarely wear makeup or fix my hair, and most days "getting dressed" means changing into my running clothes so I'll be ready when we decide to go.

We are now 2 years into this new normal, and that is another type of time I've had on my mind. How on Earth are our girls 2 years old?? I still remember the day they were born so vividly. They are growing and changing so quickly, I am reminded on a daily basis to slow down and just be with them. They don't care if the dishes are done, and they actually prefer to have their toys strewn about their playroom and our living room so they're all out and ready for action.

What they seem to care about is coloring or reading or building block towers together. They want me sitting right by them, and I'm so thankful for that. I'm going to try really hard to combat this idea of always being super productive and using my time efficiently, and I'm going to focus on spending time doing things that make me happy and fulfill me. That thought brought me back to this poor, neglected blog.

I hope to visit a bit more now because Molly and Maddie just started their Morning Out program a couple days each week, which I'm sure I'll write about soon. Mama is going to need to have something to look forward to while they're gone -- I can only clean so much.

In the meantime, go easy on yourself, mama. I will try to do the same. We're all in this rat race together and it's nice to know others can relate. This time in our families' lives is finite, and very precious, so soak it in.

Speaking of time -- I hear some little toddler feet running in here. Nap time is over. Thanks for stopping by!

The Cauliflower Comeback

I've been trying to branch out a little with our family's dinner options. We kind of got into a rut over the past year, short on time, short on sleep, and definitely short on creativity. I wasn't doing any sort of meal planning or trying new recipes, so our weekly dinners mainly consisted of a salad with chicken, pasta, takeout, or a frozen meal. We just bought the same items over and over because it was easy and quick -- that's the name of the game with littles running around and needing attention.

I got really bored with my cooking choices, and though he never said anything, I know my husband did too. So, that led to one of my goals for this year, organizing meals and trying new recipes. I have to give myself a little pat on the back, because the past few weeks have included at least 5 dinners I've never made before, and one veggie that has made a serious comeback -- cauliflower.

I was not on the cauliflower bandwagon. I know it was everywhere being roasted, mashed, used as rice, etc., but I just couldn't get past my memories of it in frozen form with broccoli, carrots, and cheese sauce. No thanks -- not a fan.

However, after having whipped cauliflower with gouda sauce (recipe below) at a cooking class recently, holy smokes my mind changed. It was SO GOOD! I even loved the bites without that rich sauce. Bonus? It was easy. We watched the chef prepare it that night, and we were able to recreate it at home in a cinch. My husband was actually the one who made the gouda sauce and thought it was super simple as well. The hardest part of the whole thing was finding the gouda in our grocery's deli. I got distracted looking at all the fancy cheeses.

So, I wondered if that meal was just a fluke. What else is cauliflower good for? I was flipping through my favorite cookbook last weekend as I planned our week and came across cauliflower fried rice (recipe below). I love fried rice and this was definitely a new recipe to try, so I put it on our list and made it Friday for dinner with some sauteed shrimp.

I had no idea how this dinner adventure was going to turn out, so it floored me how delicious it was, with all the flavors of amazing hibachi rice, but much more nutrition and much less fat and carbs. We gave the girls some little bites too, and they were big fans. Win win! We ate the leftovers last night and there's just a little bit left that I'm going to have to snack on this afternoon. Friends, this is a must-try that will probably become a regular in our house.

Here is the recipe from Skinnytaste. You won't be sorry! Just bear in mind your house will smell like Chinese food for a couple days.

As promised, here's the recipe from Chef Aimee Blume at Thyme in the Kitchen.

Creamy Whipped Cauliflower with Smoked Gouda Sauce
Serves 8-10 (we must eat big portions because I'd actually say 4-6)

1 large head of cauliflower, in florets
2 Tbsp butter
1/4 cup heavy cream
Salt
White pepper and nutmeg to taste

1. Preheat over to 375 degrees. Line a baking sheet with nonstick foil.
2. Place cauliflower florets on baking sheet, drizzle with butter and salt lightly.
3. Roast until edges are slightly brown, about 40 minutes.
4. Remove cauliflower from oven and add to food processor with cream. Blend 2-3 minutes until smooth.
5. Taste and add more salt if desired, add white pepper and nutmeg.

For the gouda sauce:

2 Tbsp butter
3 Tbsp flour
1 cup milk, warmed in microwave (we used 2%)
1/2 cup smoke gouda cheese, shredded
1/2 tsp salt
Black pepper to taste

1. In a small saucepan, melt butter and add flour. Stir until mixture bubbles and cooks for about 30 seconds.
2. Whisk in milk and bring to a boil over medium high heat.
3. Add the cheese, salt, and black pepper, stir until smooth.

Enjoy!! Hope you are able to try these.  I think both of these would be hits with kiddos too. Anything to incorporate some veggies, right?

Let me know what you think!!

Wait, I'm Supposed to be Here?

A version of this quote came across my Instagram feed earlier today, and it really stuck with me. I actually had another topic planned for today, but then after seeing this graphic I changed gears a bit, so I hope you'll stay with me here. I've been feeling a bit disappointed this week because a few professional blogging positions I was really excited about didn't pan out. Unfortunately, they were not interested in a remote candidate, and other than some real estate work here and there, working from home is my best option right now. It just doesn't make sense for our family to put the girls in full-time daycare, nor do we want to do that at this point. I love being able to have so much time with Molly and Maddie, but I also want to work and contribute to our family. I still want to use my skills and my college degree that I worked so hard for (and my parents spent so much money on!).

It's been a hard transition at times to go from working full time to staying home most of the time. I don't necessarily feel like anyone judges me, but in some ways I feel like it seems that I gave up on myself and my work to be a mom. I have friends who are still working full time and have kids and volunteer etc. and I don't know how they do it! Super powers, I guess?

Anyway, I was having a little pity party when I saw the words above, and they helped snap me out of that. I'm already writing weekly real estate blogs for two companies, plus trying to actually sell a few houses here and there. It doesn't seem like much, but that's just what I can devote to "work life" right now. Much of my time is spent taking care of our silly little ladies and trying to keep our house in order (never-ending task). That is enough right now, and I'm working to be content with that because I know this time is fleeting. Someday I'll have all the time I want to work on career goals, but that will mean our girls don't need me as much, and I can't even think about that because it will make me cry!

I hope you're able to feel content with where you are right now as well. Wherever your life or career is, try to trust that you're where you're supposed to be, if only for a short time. That's hard to do because I think we all want to move forward as quickly as possible. For me, I'm going to give my all to the work I have going at this point, and I'm going to hope that when the time is right, something else will come along and I'll be ready for it.

Good grief -- I didn't mean to go to such a sappy place! This is just something that has weighed on me, and if you've been in the same boat and can share some words of wisdom with me, I'm all ears! I promise that my next post will be a little more fun. Thinking something shopping or cooking related?

Hope y'all have a great weekend!

No Resolutions for this Girl

Happy New Year! I hope you've all had a great Sunday to start 2017, whether you are taking it easy after a little too much champagne last night (been there) or are doing chores around the house like me. We had a pretty low key NYE celebration. We ran errands and went out for an early family dinner date before everything got too crowded with the real party people. We came home and cuddled up for a bit, and yes, we were all asleep well before midnight. Toddler life, right?

We did NY date night Thursday for a cooking class -- so fun!!

I've been thinking a lot about the idea of resolutions for this year. I have always been a goal setter, and in the past I've actually written down very official resolutions in my planner or on post-its. I have to tell you, I've never really kept them. At least not to the degree which they were intended. For a long time I'd get really upset with myself if I hadn't met those resolutions after a few months and then just forgot about them. So, this year I'm not making any resolutions. Instead, I'm setting a few intentions to work on little by little throughout the year. I don't have any definitive goal in mind. It's all a work in progress.

Miss Molly has never met a basket she didn't sit in.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I turned 30 this past July, and I made a decision to be better to myself. No more pressuring myself to look a certain way, no more scowling at my belly that has loose skin and stretch marks after carrying our girls, and no more feeling inadequate because I haven't reached a certain professional status yet. Have I perfected those things? No, but I'm trying.

Glamorous NYE selfie with Miss Maddie.

That decision around my birthday is what inspired me to toss out the idea of resolutions for this new year. If you'll indulge me, I'd like to share a few of my intentions.

• Read more books. I can't tell you the last time I finished a book. It might have been when I was pregnant -- that's over a year and a half ago! I have at least 5 books that I look at on a daily basis that I am itching to dive into. There might have to be a few nap times during the week when I just sit and read rather than fold laundry or do dishes.
• Become members at a church. This is something my husband and I talk about often. We haven't gone to church much with the girls because we're those people dropping snacks, taking peoples' prayer books, crawling under the pews, you get it. We would just like to establish ourselves somewhere to meet other families and get more involved, especially as Molly and Maddie get closer to school age.
• Meal plan. Ugh, this is not one of my strengths. We spend so much money on food, and I get really annoyed with myself when we waste things because I just didn't know what to fix with them. I have hundreds of recipes saved on Pinterest, and I have close to 30 cookbooks filled with fun things to make for dinner, so I really want to try to get into a rhythm of jotting down what I'm going to fix each night, and how we can use the leftovers in other ways. 
• Start an e-mail account for Molly and Maddie. I've heard of other moms setting up an account for their kids when they're babies and sending them funny stories, pictures, videos, and letters of advice or random thoughts. They give the kids the account information when they graduate high school and it's filled with everything from their childhood that is just for them. I've wanted to work on that for over a year now, and I'm just going to make the time to do it.
• Just do it. I think that's going to be my theme for 2017. I'm done saying "I wish I could do this" or "I wonder if I could do this" -- I'm just going to try all those things I've been afraid to do and see how it goes. This blog is my first step in that. I've thought about all I want to talk about for years, but I've hesitated because I was afraid. Now, I'm just a little afraid, but that's okay because I am so enjoying this little creative outlet.

Words to live by, right? This guy now hangs in our house!

Thank you for taking the time to stop by. I'd love to hear what you've got planned for 2017 -- maybe you'll even consider making some intentions as well! Cheers, friends! 

Our (Not So) Perfect Christmas

We made it through the Christmas holiday -- phew! I hope you all enjoyed a few days to relax, eat good food and catch up with family and friends. Me? I learned a lot this year and was humbled to realize that some of my holiday plans and expectations had to be adjusted with two toddlers running around.

My helpers at the grocery.

Let's start with the weekend before Christmas when we visited my husband's family. I can sum it up like this:

• Delicious food
• Babies crawling on table during dinner (no high chairs)
• Six hour drive = baby sleep schedule way off
• Generous gifts that the girls had a blast opening.
• I came down with the worst 24 hour bug, maybe ever.
• Abrupt exit in the middle of the next to go to the ER for IV fluids and meds.

Nice, right? Thankfully I started feeling better a day or so later. I haven't been that sick since having the girls and felt horrible that I couldn't lift them or comfort them when they got tired of being in the car. My husband was a superstar and entertained them for several hours while we were at the hospital.

Hurry up, dad. We need to play with this.

So fast forward to Christmas Eve  and here's how it went:

• I lost one of our only cloth napkins, so we ended up a bit mismatched at dinner. I don't do tablescapes well. No one minded but me.
• We didn't put up a big, festive tree this year (safety hazard) so the gifts got stuffed in a corner.
• I baked refrigerated cookie dough for our Santa cookies because I didn't want to mess with the whole process of baking from scratch. 
• Maddie threw up on our way to Christmas Eve mass so we were late and smelled like puke.
• During church the girls wanted to run around, have a snack, and clap for the music, so we watched on the screen in the church gym. SO glad people think they're cute!
• Our littles threw most of their dinner on the floor in favor of yogurt puffs and graham crackers. This is what I imagine they were saying "No mom, we don't want the ham or casserole you cooked. Also, the veggies are gross. Sorry, but not sorry."
• Didn't get any good pictures of Molly & Maddie because they were too busy running around and climbing on the presents. 

So ready to tear into those gifts!

Christmas Day was laid back and cozy. We stayed in our PJs all day and didn't leave the house. We enjoyed family time and finally took a long nap. I had some time to reflect on our holiday and realized something. We had such a special Christmas that I'll remember for a long time, not because I made the perfect dinner or set our dining room table with our "special plates" that never get used. We were together -- healthy, happy, and so fortunate. I honestly felt a little guilty for getting so worked up about making sure everything was just right. 

Christmas morning -- kitchen set has been a huge hit!

I feel that way about most things in life, and that is something I continue to work on. I get this picture in my mind of what everything is supposed to look like and when it doesn't turn out that way, I feel disappointed and often blame myself. I don't want to do that anymore. Instead, I want to try to embrace that chaotic, messy, sweet time that we are in right now. Friends, it's a daily struggle. Even now as I write this, I am thinking about all the things I should be organizing or cleaning while the girls nap. I'll get to it. 

In the meantime, I'm going to go snack those store-bought Christmas cookies that actually turned out pretty good. 

Best Christmas nap ever.

 

Feeling the Nudge

Good grief it's been way too long since I've visited this little blogging space. I have thought of it often and wished to make the time to get back to it, but I have just not had the time. Between two high-energy toddlers, working, and trying to keep the house semi-clean, mama has not had a minute!

PRETENDING to ride on Thanksgiving.

I've decided to make an adjustment in my work life that will hopefully give me a little more time to pursue writing (tackling some paid writing gigs!) and build something for myself. I turned 30 in July and have just felt this nudge within myself to go after what I really want. I've spent the past few years running marketing campaigns for other people, helping them grow their businesses, and I am finally ready to build and do something for myself.

Molly & Maddie's first birthday party in May.

I have always loved writing and actually taught it for several years before our girls were born. Writing is the only thing in my life that allows me to tune out everything else. At any given time I have about 30 different thoughts running through my mind at a time, but when I get into a writing groove, I am able to be present and focus in a way that feels really refreshing and productive.

At the beach, our happy place!

I'm not sure yet where this blogging venture will lead. The only thing I know is that I want this space to be a place where I can share with all of you, gain a few friends and make some connections, and learn how to navigate this parenting journey. I have found motherhood to be a bit lonely at times. I spent 2 months on bedrest before the girls were born (more on that some other time) and have been home with them the majority of the time since. That was a really hard adjustment to make after working full-time since I graduated from college. I can't wait to make some "mom friends" to chat with and trade notes with, so if you have a topic you'd like to talk about -- let me know!

Molly Hayden -- laidback and sweet like her dad.

Like me, this blog will be a work in progress, but I promise you I will try every day to make it better and better. This space will always be honest, real, and good-humored. My pictures might not be as professional and well-edited as the beautiful images on many blogs, but I hope they make you laugh and capture my family just as we are!

Madeline Grace -- our little monkey and mom's shadow!

Thank you for taking the time to get to know me. Cheers to pursuing dreams & mommyhood!

Trying Something New

Happy Monday, friends! Welcome back, and I hope you all had a nice weekend. Like so many, my heart was heavy all weekend thinking about the horrible events that took place in Paris on Friday. I hugged my husband and baby girls a little closer, feeling so sad for the families who lost loved one in such a sudden, tragic way. My thoughts and prayers continue for those affected, and I hope we don't witness any further violence in the days ahead. 8f446f71f713e789285f2771386fcaca044c09d0efa40daed5

On a lighter note, I was able to try a new activity this weekend. I went to my first Pure Barre class yesterday afternoon to celebrate the grand opening of the Evansville studio. I have been looking forward to this for several weeks. I've heard so many good things about this workout, and I'm looking to vary my exercise a bit as it gets colder here and I might not be able to run outside as much (sad for both me and my four-legged, fluffy running buddy Ruby!). 

I wore my favorite workout leggings and new sticky socks, and when I got to to the studio, I was impressed by the chic design and quick check-in process. Our instructor gave everyone a quick tutorial before class, going over terms used and the basic movements -- much needed for many first-time visitors!

Full schedule available today! 

We got started, and within minutes I realized this workout is no joke. I jog regularly and am in pretty decent shape post-babies, but these movements and the quick-pace of the class had me sweating and shaking like crazy! Our instructor said "embrace the shake" at the start of class, so I tried to power through, and as I tried to subtly look around class, I noticed many others were in the same boat! 

My girls relaxing while momma was feeling the burn!

The class went by quickly, and we targeted arms, legs, bottom, and abs. I left feeling like jello and was so tired last night I could hardly hold Molly and Maddie. It was pretty humbling to think a class focused on tiny muscle movements could have that kind of impact.

I woke up pretty sore this morning, but thankfully I can walk (barely!) and hold babies, so I think we will make it through the day! I was thinking about how long it's been since I've tried something new and challenged myself to get out of my comfort zone. Since having the babies, my "me time" is precious, and I've really just been focused on getting back to my pre-baby weight and back to my running routine since I missed it so much while I was pregnant.

I will likely go back for another class soon because I want to get stronger and would also like to work on toning some areas that just don't look the same after delivering my sweet babes. 

I hope the studio does well in our city, and I would encourage anyone to go try a class. It's unlike any workout you've ever done, and it absolutely accommodates any level of fitness you bring to class. 

In the meantime, I'm going to continue hobbling around the house and use yesterday's class as a springboard to continue trying new and challenging activities for myself -- whether it's a workout, cooking, writing, or whatever. 

A new snack I want to make this week!

If you're in the Evansville area or have a studio near you, I highly recommend checking out a Pure Barre class. Or, if that's not your thing, just try something new this week. Let's all make an effort to do something just for us that makes us happy. 

There are so many scary, negative things happening in our world right now that we need things that allow us to have fun. Let me know what you're venturing out and doing. I'd love some more ideas to try myself!

Testing out one of our holiday outfits -- might  not fit by Christmas!