The Mommy Way to Stay in Touch

Two weeks ago, I enjoyed my first girls weekend in ohhhh, about three years. After a pregnancy that kept me close to home, and two beautiful, demanding little ladies that have kept us hopping since they were born, time has just flown by. There have been weekends and occasions when we've gotten to spend time with friends of course, but those times were spent at weddings, holiday stuff, or all our kiddos were around and we spent 80% of the time chasing them. I am talking about me leaving -- alone -- for a solid day or two. Friends, it was so refreshing and wonderful to just have that time to chat, catch up, go to brunch, sit down for a leisurely dinner, and just chill for a minute.

On my flight home I started thinking about how fortunate I am to have some seriously amazing girlfriends. Like everyone else, we don't get to see each other enough (#adultlife), and I'll be the first to admit I'm awful about texting or calling just to check in and catch up. I think we all need to do more of that. Whether you've got a demanding career, kids that need all your time, or whatever else is going on in your life, can we all just try a little harder to keep in touch?

Our friendships matter, and as I've learned they matter even more after becoming a mom. It's no secret that motherhood can be lonely and isolating at times, especially if you stay home or work from home. It's just the nature of the beast. (Deliberate phrase choice because kids can definitely be beasts.) It's also a lot harder to make friends as you get older, so when you click with a new friend, make an effort to keep that relationship strong.

So, here's what I'm thinking. Let's chat about the Mommy Way to Stay in Touch.

1. Create a book club. This obviously only works for friends who are local, but create a book club for your friends and meet maybe once per month. I don't think you even need to read a book. Just choose something and act like everyone has to read it and gather discuss. Get a babysitter or give your spouse a quality evening with the littles and go. Don't feel guilty. This can also take on the form of any kind of club or group that meets.

2. Schedule phone dates. You have to schedule date nights, so schedule a Skype, FaceTime or just a phone call with your friends. It's hard to catch each other when you're driving home from work and especially at home because there's usually chaos in the background. So, find a time that you can both devote a solid 30 minutes or so to chatting.

3. Text. Anytime -- for anything. I love getting random texts from friends. We send quotes from Sex & the City, get and give advice, and sometimes just say, "Hey, thinking of you today." Keeping in touch doesn't have to be a long session catching up on big things. I always wonder if what I am saying is important enough to send. The answer is often probably not, but still...I send it. I won't lie, sometimes it takes hours, maybe even days to respond, but the thought is there and we all know everyone is busy so it's fine.

4. Use social media. I got pretty sick of Facebook and was over social media before becoming a mom. Now I kind of love it again, especially Instagram. I have found so many great resources via social media. Plus, I genuinely enjoy seeing pregnancy announcements, baby pictures, work and travel updates, funny comments and stories -- whatever -- I'm into it. When friends post something, take a second to comment on it or text them about it. It's nice to know people care about what you're up to, especially those near and dear.

5. Make the girls weekend or boys weekend happen. Just do it. Again, don't feel guilty. I fought that guilt when I left, but that time with dear friends was so worth it. I let go of the guilt when I realized I'd return home recharged and relaxed because I did something good for my soul. That's exactly what time with friends is -- it's good for the soul.

So, there they are. That's as far as I've gotten figuring out my Mommy Way to stay in touch. It's a work in progress, but friendships are a priority no matter what stage of life we're in, and I will continue to work to be better at treating them that way.

How do all of you keep up with friends? What am I missing? 

How can this busy mama make it easier? 

Leaving Home

Today wrapped up the tagging, packing, and loading almost six years of memories, furniture, and all the "stuff" in our house. The entire contents of our home, plus my car are currently on their way to Hinton, Alberta, hopefully arriving at our new house on Tuesday. More and more of my world has worked its way through this relocation -- first Josh, then Ruby, and now everything else except our girls and me.

We will fly up next weekend, after about a million boxes arrive there and Josh can fly home over the weekend to travel back with us. Good Lord, I cannot even imagine the chaos that would ensue if I took Molly and Maddie on their first flight by myself, an international flight nonetheless, with a week's worth of luggage. Oh, the horror!! 😂

After the busyness of the past few days has settled and the girls and I are cozied up at my parents' house, I realized I didn't have the breakdown I was anticipating when I saw our empty home. At least no breakdown yet. I have loved our house so so much and have often told Josh it would take building our dream home to get me out of there. However, when I saw our empty rooms today all I could think was that it didn't really feel like our house anymore. So weird.

It's my family and the comfort of our own furniture, photos, artwork, and toys that have made it feel like home. It has been the parties, holidays, family dinners, yard work, cookouts, and Saturday morning snuggles that have made it feel like home. The built-in bookcases and pretty granite have helped -- I love a good built-in -- but they're just materials without our books, pictures, and piles of mail on them.

We moved into this house in July 2012 on a day that was well over 100 degrees. It was miserable, and we moved in stages over several days because we were blending my apartment and Josh's first house a couple months before our wedding. Our "crew" consisted of us, my parents, and Josh's brother. When we moved in, I immediately knew where I wanted to put our Christmas tree, but the rest was a work-in-progress, as I changed things around all the time. This house experienced a lot with us. We spent the night before our wedding in it, against our plans, because Josh was sick and running a fever. I didn't want to leave him alone. We brought our sweet Ruby home when she was about 10 weeks old, and as soon as she got inside she pooped on our living room carpet.

We threw a surprise 30th anniversary party for my mom and dad, hosted our girls' first and second birthday parties in our backyard, and welcomed friends and family as much as possible. I found out I was pregnant in our house and vividly remember the night we had to leave for the hospital when I was having early labor signs during dinner. A dinner that was cut short not only by that, but by Ruby eating the meat off an e n t i r e rotisserie chicken. So gross.

I spent the last two months of my pregnancy on bedrest in our house and discovered the joy of Netflix. Game changer when you can only get up to use the restroom. We came home with our daughters after they spent two weeks in the NICU. Molly also pooped literally as soon as we got home for the first time. Our daughters both crawled, walked, and talked for the first time within the walls of this house. They've also tackled each other, bit, and climbed on things they shouldn't.

We have laughed, cried, played, rested, argued, worked through decisions, and loved so much in this house. I know we will do the same in our next one.

So I still have several more trips to make to our house to tie up a few loose ends, so there's a pretty good chance I'll eat my words and ugly cry at some point, but don't worry I won't post pictures of that.

I am so looking forward to getting our little crew back together and making our new house feel like home. My home is wherever my family is. Built-ins and granite -- maybe some nice hardwood floors -- are all just added bonus.

Word of the Year

I may be a little late to the game, but I finally wrapped my head around this idea of choosing a word to focus on in this new year. At first, I thought the idea was bonkers -- how can one word encompass all my goals and ideas for the next 12 months? I guess when you are struck with the right word, it can.

So, last night while I was getting our girls ready for bed and thinking about the next few weeks and months ahead of us (more on that later -- we're preparing for a long-distance move), the word wellness came to mind. The idea of wellness has been at the forefront of my thoughts for some time, more focused on doing and being better instead of trying to be "healthy" for vanity purposes or only in the short-term.

My idea of wellness going forward means working toward bettering myself and my family physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually so we can rest assured we can enjoy each other and new adventures with joyful hearts and healthy bodies.

I gather that this wellness word of the year thing is kind of like setting a goal, so there are a few things I want to share that I'm using to help us be well.

Physically:

Over the past few months, I've been researching and testing all kind of different ideas and plans focused on eating as nutritiously and "whole food focused" as possible. I'm over the dieting thing and do not want to pass any weird food phobias to our daughters (#girlmom), so I want to teach them from the get-go that healthy, colorful, nutrient-rich foods are both delicious and necessary to be well. Personally, I have learned a ton from Kelly Leveque's book Be Well By Kelly which outlines how our bodies process food and why certain foods make us feel good or bad, hungry in 20 minutes, etc. It's awesome and packed with tons of practical advice and recipes. I am moving toward making her Fab Four smoothies every morning for breakfast.

Another game-changer for me as been a course I took by local food and meal planning expert Allie Peach. She is a mama of young kids, busy with work, and super relatable. Her message is "Empowering women to cook real food at home". I took her meal planning course in October and use the knowledge I gained d a i l y -- seriously every single day. I am working toward cooking our meals with veggies, fruits, lean meat, good carbs, and healthy fats while relying less and less on anything prepackaged or artificial. I am seeing more and more that eating real food makes you feel better and provides so many health benefits.

Mentally & Emotionally:

Wellness in the mental and emotional sense is mostly for my benefit. As a mama of twin two-year-olds, my mind and emotions are stressed daily. Our girls are the greatest joy in my life and I love them with every ounce of myself, but GOOD LORD do they test me! I know you get it. The climbing, repeating requests, hearing "no" dozens of times each day, and just keeping up with their energy is taxing. I need a breather and need to do something that challenges my mind and lets me feel emotions in other ways.

I am really going to be focused on improving and building this blog throughout the year. I have SO much to learn and do, but I can't wait to try. I have ideas that feel like they are going to explode from my mind and heart, and I will share everything with you -- good and bad. Writing, learning, and doing this for myself is going to help my mind and heart be well this year. So important for a mom and wife!

Spritually:

We gotta get back to church. It was a goal of mine last year, and it just didn't happen. I pray daily and while not super-public about my religious beliefs, they are important to me and important to both my husband and me in how we raise our girls. In addition to getting back into a church routine, which always centers and comforts me, I think doing things that are good for the soul are also included in spiritual wellness. What feeds your soul? Do you know? I'm not sure I do. Writing does for sure, and so does time with dear friends and family, but I can't help but feel there is something else I can be doing for my spiritual self. I'll keep y'all posted on that part.

So, there you go. Wellness is the word of the year for me. I urge you to join me and use this as your focus this year too. Also, I'd love to hear how you're working to find wellness this year too!